connect

con·nect (k-nkt)

v. con·nect·ed, con·nect·ing, con·nects

v.tr.

1. To join or fasten together.

2. To associate or consider as related: no reason to connect the two events.

Connect... semester 7.. that is 7/8ths(5.79 in dB for those with a techie bent of mind) of engineering life down... the drain. Ill be the first to admit, I am into engineering because my friends are here. I am doing engineering because i can do it... I'm good at it ( an 8 + gpa should be enough evidence) not because i love to understand the mechanics behind a control valve or by studying the probabilistic model of a phone link termination. For all i care this phone link termination is her banging the phone on my face(Jesus, I'm so into this that i almost ended up typing 'phase') . I wont sit and revel about the mysteries of the reverse linking signalling tone at 200ms frequency, as some would like to read the situation. For me the reverse link signalling tone spells three words "She is angry" and how.

Sorry, i was wavering there...again... Sorry..ya back..so what i was saying...oh what was i saying anyways? i tend to say a lot of things. walking on one leg has become a habit, with the other firmly in my mouth.
Then why is this post called connect? well...something very mundane happened to me... And this incident connected me to what i do. let me paint you the picture... its 2 in the night... the mosquito repellent has a colloquial and very Indian disease Loose connection. ( funny that's the Indian diagnosis for all consumer appliance failure and the remedy is thrashing it.)
All said and done, i thrashed it. I was not being an ass..i was just...well..being Indian.

The wiring conked and i found myself trying to rewire the entire device in the dead of the night with a kitchen scissor for a wire-stripper. Several scratches and cuts later, the curtain on the repellent was lowered. I plugged it in and there it was. Shining in its own glory ( or in the reflected glory of the argon tube light if you may). It was right there in my room for ages and it never looked more alive. It was the most beautiful thing. NOT the device. But the satisfaction.

THE CONNECT.

Look... i know I'm not an engineer worth my salt. Hell, in six months time id want to be called a Graduate in Telecomm engineering. It heaps far less pressure than calling yourself a "telecomm engineer". so as i said this was no big deal. But now i see the beauty to this wonderful wonderful sphere of education.
Its like a doctor saving lives. A banker saving millions in taxes. A dancer performing on Broadway. All trained professionals. All trained to kick butt. And there i was with the repellent in one hand, a scissor in another and a smile on my face. Hardly as impressive but none the less, looking forward to a 'well deserved' pest free nights sleep.

Engineering, sometimes gets lost in the cliche wars with MBBS. its more than just one half of the alternatives that a HSC sci. pass out has.
Ladies and gentlemen.... its a way of life.
Me and engineering.
And the twain shall meet.

As i rack my brains for an end to this tripe. i really cant help but wonder...
Engi-near yet so far.
Touche.

"Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live."
- Mark Twain.

rage against the mundane

Cliche's are like blowjobs. Everyone's done it and more often than not its ends up being In Your Face.
Arent they everywhere and being the bigoted race that we are, we use them unashamed day after day. An ode to the rising standards of our double standards.
I find myself guilty as charged on counts of using and reusing cliched subjects and lines and jokes and the works. I promised myself that i will refrain from using them but hey a world without cliches is a world without DUH !... DUH !

Everythings cliched : Boy-meets-girl stories, Jeffrey Archer, maruti cars, boy bands, nosy neighbors,nagging WAGs, balding men, Bsc. Microbiology, Dhoni,Boot-cut jeans, OSO, Blogsites, Al Qaida, Jay Leno..... the list goes on and on...

A day may come when the courage of man fails him, when all hope comes crashing down but it is not this day...this day we fight the cliches...

Cliche : " hey man where have u been? "
Response : with your wife...

Cliche : " Indian Roads are too bad for expensive cars "
Response : yes they magically mend themselves when you can afford them.

Cliche : " watsap ? "
Response : your wife...take a hint

C: " if you cheat, youll are cheating noone but yourselves "
R : boy..does it feel good or does it feel good.

C : " I am pregnant "
R : Funny, so am I.

C: " Hi this is you captain edward james blah blah....."
R : SHIT !!!! not him

C: " So that'll be a total of Rs. 240 for your burgers and shake sir "
R : how about we settle it for 200?

C : " thank you for calling vodafone... is there anything else i can do for you ? "
R : Yeah !!! but its banned in 37 states across america...are u still game ?

C : look at my blog... im so totally ripping on cliches
R : CLICHED !!!

"Ask no questions... and you will be told no lies "

roar of the faithful

A life like no other, your life is unique
questions to ask and answers to seek

A generation marches, but you're walking alone
finding your calling to call it your own

Changing the meanings of virtue and sin
Marching on, fueled by the fire within

He giveth the strength and he taketh away
The faith has been fading in twilight of day

A gun quells a rebel by death or by truce
men may perish but the idea is bulletproof

Ideas kept alive in history's pensieve
a lesson learnt in time, I believe

Praying for a miracle, for a hero i can't find
or maybe I'm just blind !

Writers' block-ed

Time is the essence of our existence. The clock is the instrument of our being. Has it ever felt funny adjusting the time on your wrist watch? No one really gives it that much of thought. But the changes you just made will remain for all of…well..time.

Time is also the truest test of character. So they say. I don’t believe them. They killed kenny. Those bastards. But if there is any semblance of truth in this statement then its an idea worth exploring. At this crucial juncture I find myself, exploring the possibilities for my future, on the threshold of making life altering choices. Its decision time. The more instinctive, the better. Intuition is logic that is hardwired into your system from past experiences. Oh what would I give to glimpse into the past for one last time. To truly understand my evolution…

Flashback:

Its that part in history where the artist formerly know as ‘Prince’ was currently known as ‘Prince’. Britney Spears was conservative-catholic America's Poster girl and sold records and the school canteen sold samosas for 2 bucks. Those were the days..sigh…

( Id like to thank the academy, my mom, dad,pet dog and Eric Cartman)…ok ill cut the pseudo-nostalgic-farcical rendition of a flashback sequence from a Bollywood movie. I'm talking about 5 yrs back for crying out loud…

I didn’t really care that I had to study x-pages in a day, score y percentile in CAT or work my ass of z-years of work experience. Post Graduation and semester end jitters never gave me sleepless nights. Hell, I was more worried if it rained tomorrow and no one would turn up to play ball. Careless…bordering on hedonism you might say. But hey… I guess at that age, we were all kings ( or queens- keep the feminists happy, dad’s advice) of our little kingdoms we built not off steel, stone and gold but of free thought inside of our heads.

Isn't that how we’d all like to live out the rest of our lives? Sadly we cant. Or is it that we just really don’t want to? Why feel guilty/embarrassed/shy/apprehensive ( or whichever adjective it is that ‘holds you back’) for wanting to live life in the most uncomplicated fashion with one simple objective of having fun as long as you are still on the right side of the graveyard gate.

Why do we let the world set out norms for us? Why do we find comfort in conformism or are we just too lazy to explore the counter view? Have the forgotten to ask why and what like we once did? Look at where asking these questions got us – from the cold, filth-infested moist caves of prehistoria.

So why have we stopped asking questions? Ill give you a simple illustration. You’re probably reading this piece knowing that the point of this write up is hovering dangerously close to the “lost and found” department of the human psyche. Lets skip the foreplay. Ask yourself this question… where is your life headed?

Simpler : ask yourself…”what are you doing about it?”

I asked myself the same thing and then I booked an appointment with my therapist to find out.

I’d like to thank the academy…

Keep the faith and thou shall be redeemed to salvation by thou savior.

“ Faith is like electricity… you cant see till it hits smack you smack in the face”

salute 2 sinatra

She was five and I was six
We rode on horses made of sticks
She wore black and I wore white
She would always win the fight

Bang bang, she shot me down
Bang bang, I hit the ground
Bang bang, that awful sound
Bang bang, my baby shot me down.

Seasons came and changed the time
When I grew up, I called her mine
She would always laugh and say
"Remember when we used to play?"

Bang bang, I shot you down
Bang bang, you hit the ground
Bang bang, that awful sound
Bang bang, I used to shoot you down.

Music played, and people sang
Just for me, the church bells rang.

Now she's gone, I don't know why
And till this day, sometimes I cry
She didn't even say goodbye
She didn't take the time to lie.

Bang bang, she shot me down
Bang bang, I hit the ground
Bang bang, that awful sound
Bang bang, my baby shot me down...

i-sore

Clock strikes a tick and that moment goes by
Gone forever, matter not how hard you try
Its upto whether you trudge,try or shrivel up and cry
And this is what i am...

Of black, grays and white... like virtue and wine
A lesson learnt today is a lesson in time
Blurred in the moment..stand on the crossroads; blind
And this is where i am...

Questions and answers...are cryptic alike
Under lock and key... like that mysterious smile
Then a voice tells you to fight the good fight
And this is how i am

They tell us to keep the faith and that God has a plan
Day after day... not one gives a damn
Silent spectator... its man versus man
And is this who i am ?

The pursuit of contentment

The Art of being contented with what life has to offer is a difficult art. By the time you master it... life has nothing more to offer. A graduation by default. A crash course in the same discipline happens everyday. Every day, there is this one frame...this one flash that defines that day. Sit down and reminisce of what you will remember of today in the morrow. Food, id say is the most beautiful metaphor of all... as beautiful as beauty is metaphorically. Contentment : Satiation. Put this into perspective, the morsel you wasted last night or the mess around your dinner plate could have nourished someone somewhere. The question is must you feel sorry for them or your actions. I will not take the moralistic high ground saying " we are criminals and our crime is the unequal distribution of opportunities ". I personally am all for charity, but charity done for the sake of charity is business/obligatory. Obligations and me have a difficult history. and id leave it at that. Charity must not be something you practice for getting recognition. Far from it... the beauty lies in its anonymity...like providence. Coming back to food, the dinner table is the greatest leveler. Not one man doesn't long for the first morsel of food. Beggar and king, eyes twinkle alike. The conversations made on dinner table teach one a lot. I count myself to be unfortunate to have not been a part of any residential educational institution/hostel. Though on second thoughts, id rather live in the comfort of my room with the security of my folks reassuring me from across the walls. The last supper is a classic example of this idea... Jesus, Judah, 10 others... all bonded by a simple diet of bread and wine. all Leveled. People talk about changing the world and not knowing where to start off... just like how I'm looking to study for my engineering examinations and not knowing where must i start from. Changing the world isn't a big deal. The big deal is nature of this change, its impact and its sustenance. Idealistic : every man can change the world. Problem : they don't give a flying fuck... just like me. Caught up in the medley of the mundane. Nuclear pollution doesn't bother me... what bothers me is getting straight A's. I'm no Jesus of this suburbia. If i changed the world, will god read up on microwave devices and circuits. NO But hey, Microwave theories don't tell me not to commit random acts of kindness... By kindness i mean anything that doesn't piss the other person off. If i commit sin, must i do equal amount of good to ensure a date with St. Peter or whoever is heaven's Gurkha. I dunno.. do i believe in hell... i don't know. Do i believe in Life..i dunno.. but what i do know is i believe in Living. That is a fine art...we all must learn.

The selfish they're all standing in line...
Faith in their hope and to buy themselves time.
Me, I figure as each breath goes by,
I only own my mind.

Midnight Musings

Imagine living with a gift.. a gift to see into the future... near and distant alike.. knowing equally well about the consequences of your action. The cause and its effects... the domino-ripple chain reaction that the slightest of changes in your actions might trigger off in the lives of people...some you know and some whom u've never met in your life.
Let us put this gift into perspective... superficially.. all of it seems very rosy.. bet on the winning horse, pick the right stocks, buy the right plots.. money,women,comfort,respect,authority, power-addict... basically the repercussions of being in the right place at the right time...
Life... as you like it.
You conceive the future...you shape it...like that sting song.. every step you take...every move u make...you mould life.
I personally would be paranoid if it were happen to me. Life lived in rewind is a scary prospect. Your like the cursor on lifes seek bar. Every time you move... something happens somewhere.
Every decision of your wd be made and remade. Only to see hw it will effect the lives of the ones u love.
Its scary..most times...a million things on your mind... what would you give to break free... freedom is never free... there is always that price to pay.
So life as you like it...woudlnt be life how id like it to be.
"Life is chaos... you gotta deal with it"
-Max Cavlera

home alone

Money makes the world go round... not love..not humanity..not faith.. but moolah. The dollar is our new day messiah. Its a cycle.. this cycle of money never has and never will be stagnant. Quite like what goes around.. must almost always come around..
Imagine you make buckets of money on a wager and you lose it the next moment. The very next moment. Are you really justified in feeling a sense of having lost something. because it never really was yours.. now was it. but the stitch on what we call the 'human fabric' is taillored to make us feel guilt and a sense of losing something precious to us. Nirvana on the other hand is claimed only by letting go.
Imagine how would you feel. The feeling of almost there but not quite. Its how life shows just enough of the football for you to make the tackle and at the last second swirves around for you to get a card.
Confusing.. here ill make it more comprehensible. The greatest tricks are the ones that metaphorise life and its idiosynchronacies. The trick that i was talking about is the perfect analogy to " The lord giveth and he taketh away". bull shit.
why does he giveth if he has to take-th(eye roll) it away. why show you hope.. why the glimpses of spectacular magic that leave you with nothing but hazy memories of the illusion and a dropped jaw.
Why does he show us just enough of the ball to go in for the tackle. If its his way of testing our faith then in the words of Eric Theodore Cartman.. its sucks ass.
Its this indifference that is feeding atheism today. People simple dont want to believe and left out hung and dry.
Man has evolved... and hes more pissed off by the second. His waters are polluted, his air smells like shit, his salary is stagnant n hes is not getting any punani. and hes has no1 to blame.. common he cant blame himself now.. can he ?

"Suck up for the quick reward boy... suck up for the quick reward... they said "

Trial by fire... the cost of my desire

I can see into your eyes… I can sense the fear

Fear… a curse I have come to hear

Despair thickens the air, asphyxiating oxygen into submission

Id take a bad hangover over this weird period of transition

Finding our feet. catching our breath, trying to make sense

Tense… intense… choking on elixir minus life’s essence

Is the darkness here to stay? Will it ever go away

Reminding you and me that bullshit does not pay

Come judgment day

Out of luck?

Seemingly stuck?

Like a werewolf longing for the moon

His judgment cometh… and that right soon.

comfortably numb

Irony has a way of rubbing it in. Feeding on your fear and misfortune… irony has a way of being ironical. Its how good morning is an oxymoron. Tomorrow is another day.. just like today was another tomorrow. Nothing has changed.. most probably nothing will.

Stagnancy is the virus poisoning our potential. Stuck in the moment are we?

Do we need a disaster to shake us off this ‘redundant-reentrancy’ mode?

Snap out. Shake off. Laugh and the world laughs with you… cry and the world laughs louder. But, after a while you get bored… at least I do. Bored of this monotony, of the redundancy… how I wish I had the zen skill of filtering visual and aural information… in colloquial terms… ‘The block out’ effect. Focus is the key. Focus has not failed me.

Luck has. Man… do I feel like that kid Kenny from south park. I don’t even see the joke in that anymore.

At times like this… you have to learn to laugh at yourself. If you cant, then you are in big shit my brother. Humor is the perfect antidote. A little extra dose of wit never harmed anyone. At least again it never did harm me and frankly that’s all I care about now.

Ever sat and thought about what the future holds in store for you? Boy, the thought scares the crap out of me. What if things don’t turn out as planned. At the mercy of fate? Helpless again? Whatcha gonna do when karmas gonna come for you?

Scared…don’t be… Do good to others… listen to your professors, practice charity, attend discourses… or throw up your middle finger and just don’t give a fuck. Trudge along. Take things head on. A day will come when the courage of man fails… where he forsakes his friends and breaks all bonds of fellowship… a day of wolves and shattered shields. But it is not this day… this day WE FIGHT!!! ‘

Fight the good fight.

Hey… be a man.. do the right thing.

Make your choices and don’t let the choice make you. Live life on your own terms. Very cliché but I haven’t been able to comprehend its profundity as yet.

wake up ! ( fight club extract )

Warning: If you are reading this then this warning is for you. Every word you read of this useless fine print is another second off your life. Don't you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly can't think of a better way to spend these moments? Or are you so impressed with authority that you give respect and credence to all that claim it? Do you read everything you're supposed to read? Do you think every thing you're supposed to think? Buy what you're told to want? Get out of your apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex. Stop the excessive shopping and masturbation. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you're alive. If you don't claim your humanity you will become a statistic. You have been warned...

This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time...
Fuck damnation, man! Fuck redemption! We are God's unwanted children? So be it!

I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off. i am..

n the name of the father...

There are times… and then there are times. If only you had a relay-switch to turn your life off... momentarily so and take in the sights and sounds of the journey that we all call ‘life’, which other times, would have whizzed past into oblivion..

The times when you feel that your mettle is being tested, that the world has lined up against you and that you are merely a guinea pig in God’s elaborate experiment on the String theory. Frustration feeds itself and voila… the domino effect. Things start affecting other things, more dangerously… other people too. People whom you care for and who care for you.

We are all instruments of our instincts. We are designed to act on hunches. The sixth sense, some may call it. Its like being in love. You just know it. Why and how become secondary responses. That is the ‘it’ factor. That what the nike guys want us to do. IT.

Training your mind to achieve goals is hardest thing to do… Its like programming ROM because reprogramming it to achieve a different objective is tough as hell.

Your inhibitions claw you back on the road to salvation. Your fears stuck on the rewind switch in your head. Playing over and over.. sometimes you feel trapped in one of those revolving doors painfully whizzing around driving an asphyxiating sense of nausea.

But you tell yourself, you’re a soldier, your job is The Job; like one of the crusaders; you don’t give a damn what’s right and what’s not; you trudge on and do your job.

You are a pawn cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of fate for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous.

You have a fight on your hands. In your mind, with your mind; fighting it in its own backyard aint easy. But if u came here looking for easy meat, god help you !

Take it one day at a time and pepper your faith with belief to exorcise the demons in your head.

AMEN!!!

" screw you guys... im going home "

- Eric Cartmen.

FUCK THE SYSTEM

SYSTEM of a DOWN

There are many things that make you Indian. Things that are distinctly desi.

A penchant for spicy food, amazing sense of conversion of any currency into INR when shopping abroad, unparalleled love for cricket and of course a tendency to blame the system for the most mundane of problems.

Problems that we can do nothing about or want to do nothing about are attributed to the system. Engineers and graduates remaining unemployed, it’s the systems fault. The phone’s dead. It’s the systems fault. Your neighbor’s son isn’t admitted into the top of the line medical college and you are told it’s the systems fault. The Indian cricket team loses a test match or Tendulkar is out of form, the matches are thrown, it’s the systems fault. Worse, you jump a red light and unashamedly pay Pandu fifty bucks and as soon as you are within an earshot of him, you crib about corruption and curse the system again.

The inexplicable ability to find fault in the system and look for reason everywhere but within is something all of us are gifted with.

What is this system? Who is this system? Why is it in such bad shape?

No one knows and quite frankly no one even cares anymore. But all take pride in cursing it. Why is it so? Do we find solace only in bringing others down? Are we so frustrated that we have to blame everything on some thing that quite frankly is our own creation?

This “system “has been nurtured by our very own selfish needs. When we weigh what is right n morally correct against what is faster to get over and done with, righteousness and morality get chucked out of the window. This is the case with every one of us who bend the rules to fit their needs and then have the nerve to curse it when it doesn’t work for you.

To roughly answer the questions above, the system is a mythical entity of our own creation. The babudom that is very prevalent in government offices today is also of our very own doing. Quite frankly put, the system is US. We are the system. Doctors, lawyers, engineers, teachers, students… all components of this well greased machine.

It has already been made ample clear that it is in shambles. Every office is riddled with dishonesty, every company diseased with corruption. Every palm is greasy and every wallet opens out to grease it even more. At least we have come to realize something is wrong. So the next logical question should be ‘what do we do about it?’

Here is the tough part. Introspection is a skill we need to develop before looking for excuses. Instead of passing the buck, we must stand up and be counted. We need to change our thinking, our attitude, ourselves to change the system.

We need to do what is right and not what is easy. Take the righteous route even if it means taking longer. Refuse the touts who can get your work done but at a price. The next time you are asked a bribe, you look that prick straight in the eye and refuse and urge others to do the same. Pay all taxes on time. Pay all tolls fares. Don’t spare anyone who doesn’t.

It’s about time this generation rises from its slumber and becomes active in the struggle to make India a better place to live in. The way that it was conceptualized as a free nation 50 odd years ago. This generation, our generation believes in ‘here and now…’ so its here and it’s got to be now or never. We can’t shamelessly let the corrupt gang rape the system day after day. The youth must rise in rebellion against to system for its own good. Quite like the modern avatar of the exodus where the present machinery is exhumed only to find a better society rise from the ashes like a dazzling phoenix. Its time to do the needful, to do what it takes to rid the nation of this disease. So the next time you jump a red light ask for a receipt. Better still don’t jump the red light. So if you think we will take everything lying down or think we care a damn. Think again. The generation has awakened. The rebel is here. Here to stay