Distinguish betwee : india n yankeeland

1. Tipping in America, unlike India is mandatory. Here you quietly sneak out of the hotel with not tipping before the waiter finds out you haven't left him anything and gives you a " I'm so disappointed in you" look that you are accustomed to from your father , but in Yankee land be prepared to dodge some sneering snarls if you don't tip a prescribed 5 % gratuity

2. Coffee doesn't not mean filtered rich kaapi brewed in your grand moms small filter drip by drip till it fills the kitchen with aroma. In America, Coffee is a dark liquid served to you in Starbucks at the end of a long queue, often characterised by a Hispanic voice whose entire English vocabulary is ' That's a dollar fifty sir, thank you, have a nice day'

3. Sticking with coffee, in India, well, coffee is 'Coffee' colour. In the states, its black unless you want latte. Latte may not be sweetened. Do that yourself from counter at the side.
So, if you go to a store in the US, and ask ' Can i get that in a coffee shade ? '. Chances are he will come back with Black.

4. In India, neighbors are people with whom you are supposed to interact with, someone who comes to your place asking for a spoon-ful of sugar but leaves with a bowl-ful with the words " D I A B E T E S" flashing in your head, some one you exchange pleasantries with in the lift.
The American Gospel says love your neighbor, but just don't talk to him. Only serial killers and deranged pedophiles interact with neighbors. They even let them borrow sugar sometimes.
In America, the neighbor is defined as a guy who dials 911 if you end up raising a stink when lying dead, undiscovered for weeks in your apartment.

5. In America, the switch is pushed up to turn it on, the screws go in counter-clockwise and there is no such thing as manual transmission when it comes to cars

6. "Sodun dyaa na saaheb, parat nai honaar, he ghya 100 baksheesh, usheera hot aahe " will almost definitely not work when a cop pulls you over for a speeding ticket.

7. You cannot bargain on a pair of jeans, when yanks say its the final price, they tend to mean its the final price. No dene-ka-bhaav-bolo business here

8. In the states, Rubber almost always means contraceptive. So don't have your ten year old throwing a tantrum in the middle of the street for a new rubber.

9. Indian Parents scare their kids with stories of the boy who was attacked by the bogey monster. American children scare their parents with stories of the couple who were arrested by American Child Services for yelling at their kids.

10. All the fuss about Americans being advanced in their way of life. I have just one point to make America uses paper, India uses Water. I rest my case